so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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