i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
