I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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