Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
