That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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