If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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