Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
