Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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