Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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