Screwed.edu
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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