Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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