Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
