I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
