i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
