SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
