Having a random hookup so left but love u
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
