Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
