My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
