plz talk dirty to me
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize