Me too!
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
