honey bunches of taint.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
