I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Randomize
