The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
