my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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