i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
