Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
