The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
