I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
