I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
