is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
