his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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