it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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