Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
