you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
