You can't special order awesome
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
