win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He called his prostate his "boner button".
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize