don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
