i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize