Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
