All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I intend to get homeless drunk
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
