the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
