Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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