New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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