Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
