So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
