I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
