the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
