I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Can Purell be used as lube?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
