Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
