Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
