Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
