also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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