woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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