i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Randomize
