please come you make the beer taste better
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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